Relationships Vs. Partnership ; What to look for and what to expect.
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The quest for finding our best romantic partner, is a prolonged journey which consumes most of our twenties. In a sensitive decade where we are supposed to pick ourselves, our careers and busy setting the foundation to our own lives. We often find ourselves on romantic roller coasters when it comes to picking “the one “. Where our believes continue to change, our pursuing change , and things which matters the most to us also change and this lead to us shifting partners long before finally settling to what’s really best for us.
In the quest for finding the one it is very vital that one keeps a thoughtful mind while searching. Finding people we are compatible with is very easy and we can see different versions of ourselves with many people. But what really matters when picking someone, in my opinion, is reaching out for someone who you can reach your fullest potential self with and who can still be compatible by then.
So what do we do? What is the approaches we follow to achieve our romantic connections? And how to enhance them?
We develop Romantic connections for various reasons, sometimes it is as simple as having a good connection with someone. Othertimes we can have a relationship with someone for a single quality that we find attractive such as them been cute or funny . I think its very absurd how we can pretty much determine who we pick as a patner from a simple early attraction.
Many of times though we get into relationships merely because of ourselves. We can enter relationships for our urge to partner with someone, our loneliness and insecure selves. The longing for belonging to someone and feeling united can push us to make very wierd and incompatible choices.
What effects our decision to enter a relationship?
Media and romanticism have ruined our reasoning to a great extent, it has pushed us on how to translate different connections we feel towards new acquaintances. We have been pushed to form relationships under a certain way, been fed with so many rules that favors spontaneity and impulsiveness over thoughtfulness and rationalism.
We have been told that “feelings” are all that matters to jump into a new relationship. When you feel it you got to act on it. Putting feelings as our primary reasoning for establishing our romantic foundation has been the case for as long as we know it. The question is, is it enough? Knowing that we might feel strong connections to different people throughout our lifetimes and knowing that when we change sometimes our feelings too do change. So what are the main elements to build up? What to search for? And how to make this life changing choice upon building your life with someone an amazing one!
You need to shift your objectives!
This means instead of seeking a relationship that ends to become a life partnership. Pick a partnership that serves as a lifetime relationship.
So what is partnership?
Partnership is the act of mindfully selecting a partner with little reliability on feelings. It is the act of knowing someone without developing the strong urge of attachment. The reason why feelings is little relied on at first is that feelings serves as a strong catalyst to blur our visions and over idealize the situation for us. This dopamine rush which serves as a feel good buzz leave us thinking that this is really the best thing that can ever happen to us. When in fact it is not!
When getting to know someone with the partnership perspective we are our most sincere selves. Sharing our utmost life visions and principles. We give ourselves and others the chance for a true bond. A bond which works the best for us, a bond which aligns with ourselves and where we want to be.
How is it different from relationship?
1/ Partnerships are thoughtful and relationship are often rushed.
Relationships are built upon the accumulated feelings that build up as we get to know somebody. The flirting, the sweet texts and the big promises and words. The over romanticism which make us feel so good about ourselves and the relationship. We feel this is the perfect way to start a connection with someone as the media , songs , movies and everything keeps telling us is that you don’t have to be sure, you got to enjoy the feeling and the connection leaving usually the big questions and realism to be dealt at last . Whilst On the other hand partnership’s approach is very slow, it is thoughtful and insightful. It is built on open discussions, it is built on asking questions, learning and knowing more about someone. It prefers real connection over a buzz of dopamine.
2/ Partnerships are long term whilst relationships are short term
Partnerships rely on truth while relationships rely on fantacies. When we enter a relationship over romanticisim , we often rush how we feel about our partners. Our longing to feel whats overly broadcasted to us in media leaves us resembling our scope of love to people who might not truly resemble who we fantacy them to be. Our impatient selves and our longing to become united with someone plays well and hard to blur our visioning.
3/Partnerships are balanced while relationships are intense
Relationships favor intensity of emotions . Pushiness and neediness, it resemble it as an act of strong and passionate love. It eventually becomes an extra burden instead of being a refuge.
4/Partnerships help you grow while relationship holds you back.
Built upon only feelings , we often find that relationships might actually burden us from reaching our life goals. With too much consumption on making our two visions align when they werent a match in the first place. We exert many energy trying to preserve what we feel for our partners. Relying only on feelings , we often loose ourselves in the emotional spiral. Getting reassurances , care and affection can turn into a toxic patterns of neediness and clinginess. As relationship are built on over appreciating weaknesses and neediness , boosting the idea of one unlike the idea of being a power team.
5/ Partnerships cater for our human element while relationships are needy
Partnerships are not ideal ,they are real. They have no ideal scope or pattern. They are stripped from mainstreams and they are determined by the the two individuals who establish them. While relationships have so many rules , rules stemming from insecurities thats overly misunderstood as love.
There is nothing wrong about taking care of yourself by one time . That doesnt mean your partner doesnt love you . It means that you are a strong individual who can meet up to the minimum standard of caring for yourself. Partnerships utilize both capacities and strength to built on a stronger foundation while relationships consumes oneself to become overly depleted.
I know I might be confusing you in a bit and the two definitions of Relationships and partnerships can many times overlap to become one. but what I am trying to deliver is that when entering a new romantic partnership , the mindset and the pace we follow pretty much determines everything.
the important question to be open about are:
1/ Why are we seeking a romantic partnership in the first place (is it a short term or a long term investment).
2/What is our vision for our utmost romantic partnerships.
3/ Are we really finding what we seek and need or are we projecting our idealistic visions.
keeping all of this in mind and being super attentive over creating a real true bond is all that it takes to build and sustain a wonderful lifetime partnership.
